Some of us are never satisfied, we find ourselves always waiting for that next thing. Those of us in this club of antsy people wish away the present in anticipation of the future. We think...I will be happy when this exam is over, or, once I move into my apartment my life will come together; but before we even reach that wishful moment we find ourselves counting down to the next big thing. Why can’t we discontented people just enjoy where we are at? Is the term “free spirit” just a euphemism for lost-and-impossible-to-please?
I think back to my time in Madrid; in May I couldn't wait to start flamenco class, once that began I couldn't wait to go to Santorini and once I was living the life of a Greek goddess I had thoughts of my New England homecoming racing through my mind. I don’t know; maybe this is normal. Maybe its part of being an adolescent and “finding ourselves.” Maybe, when we finally find our calling we wont feel so eager to start planning for the future. Is the anxious need to move on what allows us to live a rich life of diverse experiences? Or, is it a sign that we are wishing away the best years of our lives?
Now, this is not to say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed all of my incredible experiences or that I am not happy in the present; but I find it hard to know when to stop, when to sit and relax and likewise, when to keep moving and planning. When do people know it is time to settle down? I don’t think I am alone in wondering when that moment of clarity will occur to me, or if that will ever happen. Maybe I will forever be a “free spirit.”
What I do know is that I am finally here in Boston. I live close to the family that I have missed for the past twenty four months. I live in the perfect apartment with my best friend in the whole world. And I am about to celebrate my first birthday and Thanksgiving with my parents in two years.
Time will pass on its own, with out me rushing it. So at least for a little while, I am going to settle down in this city that I will forever call home; because what I have right now is more than enough to be contented with.
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