Monday, April 28, 2008

Breaking the surface

Do you ever find yourself looking at those closest to you and asking why you became friends with them in the first place? What attracted you to them? Or maybe it was just an arbitrary circumstance that brought you together? In adolescence I think those convenient relations are common; many times we became friends with whoever sat next to us in biology class, not necessarily because we shared some common passion or because we admired their character, but because it was easy. Now I don’t mean to sound like a negative Nancy, because sometimes those random encounters did lead to lasting relationships; and others resulted in what I like to call surface friends. (you know those people you see every day during a given period of your life who you discuss your day and the weather with) I believe that even those surface friends, like all other relationships in our lives, are very important and and can be quite valuble. But as we get a bit older and things get a bit more complicated it seems that we need people in our lives that cut a bit deeper than the surface.
Growing up I was what I would call a drifter, never really part of one clique but not a loner either. This left me, at times, feeling a bit out of place but mostly I was just grateful that I could drift from one group to another and for the range of experiences that my drifting ways allowed for. But, being an ocean away from home and a world away from my family has led to a realization that I never would have predicted, being the socially distant- free spirited, butterfly that I thought I was proud to be; I realized how important it is to have a few really close friends, a few people that you really let into your weird world, who you let see your vulnerabilities and who you can go to for advice. Maybe in this case quality trumps quantity?
My best friend recently said to me that all the successful people in the world have one thing in common; they surround themselves with good people. It is so important to be around people who make you happy, people who challenge you to better your weaknesses and who accentuate those parts of your character that you admire the most. Real friends should make you feel like a better person for knowing them and you should do the same for them.
"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."- Jacques Delille

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Not sure if we ever had a talk about this very subject, but you mirror my experiences almost exactly. In my case, I always justified my wandering because I had a great foundation of two best friends. When I lost one of them, life became much more fragile.......

John